Signs Your Local Neighborhood Bagel Boy May Be Using Coke

Brian the 27 year old Bagel Boy was a witty young man who bantered with me in the morning over orders of egg white omelet no butter bagels. When he moved on to greener pastures as a pastry chef, I actually missed him a great deal. I interacted with him on a daily basis-more often than I talk to close friends and family. He even tried hooking me up with another customer one time.

I was leery of his replacements-two young, handsome African American men in baggy jeans and baseball caps. Sure, they were competent cooks and great eye candy, but I was afraid I was doomed to mornings of, "Yes, ma'am, how may I help you?"

Pretty quickly I was getting winks from the taller of the two, an extra muffin on a holiday, and my bagels were burned just the way I like them. Once he saw how the owner and I goofed around when other customers weren't present, he and his friend began chatting with me-when the boss wasn't there.

"Hey, what are you up to this weekend?"
"Going to see my boyfriend-his kids are home from college."
"What?"
"Oh-yeah. You do know the teenager I come in with occasionally is my son."
"Ok, ok-but I thought you was like 28 or something."
At this point, I fall instantly in love with him. Do I look 28? Hell, no, but I'll take it.
"28? How could I be 28 with a 16 year old?"

The guys look at each other.

"We just figured you got started early." Well, I kinda did, but wasn't going to go into the 13 year age difference between my boyfriend and me.

So I left feeling like a million bucks, even if it was just goofing around, and looking forward to daily before-work flirting.
Until...
Another female customer and I are waiting in line. Mr. Wink pops out.
"How may I help you?"
The customer responds with a simple order, and Mr. Wink begins.

"Wow, we're busy today with large orders. Have to have my A-game on. Speedy speedy." He looks at me and recites my daily order. "See, I know what she wants, like I can read people. Reminds me of this movie with Tom Cruise and an older actor, what's his name. The older guy, he's kind of a con artist, and he's kind of showing Tom how to con but is his friend, and they're like playing pool, and the older guy says, 'Look over there, that guy is hitting on that girl, but she gonna turn him down, but I'll go right over and get her number.' And Cruise is thinking, No way, but sure enough, the older guy walks over and gets her number in like one minute because what Cruise doesn't know is that the guy knows the girl and just really went over and said hi. Like a trick. Twelve seventy fine."

The woman blankly gives him a twenty. Mr. Wink opens the cash register.

"Look at all these guys." We look at him, befuddled.
"Look at all these presidents. I open this drawer every day and I'm like, What are these guys going to say to me today? Like they can talk, y'all."

So my fantasy of fucking him on the prep table is shot to shit.