She's so bad at math, her ovaries can't count to 28

In my classroom after lunch: a 3 foot high hard rubber rat and and plastic mini rat attached to a trap that squeals, courtesy of the band of prankster lesbians.

My giggling but confused students watched from their seats as I pulled a large Simba from the closet, glued a black string to its mouth and added a post-it that said, "Mmmm. Tasty." We placed it in a large green canvas bag and *snuck it into the gym. At the end of the day, I removed the batteries from the trap and attached a note."Sorry about the batteries...but I'm a lonely woman."

Our contract clearly states no horseplay on school grounds, but it doesn't say anything about Tomfoolery.

*fine, not a real word. One of our regional "accents" is that we drop medial t's, and have non-standard past tenses. For example, "We pet the dog yesterday" is common usage in town, even among the edumacated.