After the blood laden, clumpy, scarlet red tampon plopped into the toilet water and gently unfolded in the ripple, I was struck by how much it looked like a jelly fish floating in the sea.
My GYN appears unconcerned about my heavy periods, a new development within the past year. "We could put you on the pill," she suggested. "Well, it affects my moods," I replied, thinking, huh, do they recommend that women start the pill at 36? "Oh," she continued, "and your HPV test from last year was slightly abnormal." "WHAT?" I exclaimed. I had been tested for EVERYTHING after a calamitous breakup with a guy who would fuck a telephone pole. "How come no one notified me?"
"Your pap was normal," she said reassuringly. "We'll run those tests again, of course."
Two weeks later...
"Your HPV came back normal," the lab tech said.
"Thank God."
"But your pap had some irregularities. The doctor has decided to read it as normal because the HPV is fine, and she'll retest both next year."
Should I get a new GYN?
3 comments:
I wrote that exact same opening line to a post, but deleted it. Great minds think alike. Yep. Coincidence, right--Dolores Kearns Squirrel?
...and so I google "Dolore Kearns tampon jellyfish"...
Sorry about that. It's "Doris" And googling "Doris Kearns tampon" actually gets hits. Thankfully, none relating to Perfesser Goodwin's actual catamenial products.
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