Adult store, counter in the lingerie/massage oil area.
KS; "So, do you have a maternity section?"
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I seen Beyonce at Burger King
Linen-s and Crap, buying kick ass expensive sheets to replace the BF's $10 Joyeez brand. (I'm a sheet snob, on the rare occasions I can afford it.)
Twelve year old cashier: "So, are you due soon?"
KS, struggling not to lunge over the counter and squeeze her scrawny neck: "No. December 31st."
Cashier, looking at my abdomen: "Oh."
Twelve year old cashier: "So, are you due soon?"
KS, struggling not to lunge over the counter and squeeze her scrawny neck: "No. December 31st."
Cashier, looking at my abdomen: "Oh."
Friday, August 15, 2008
NO brain cells
Either I have a meeting in 20 minutes for which I will be a little late and smell like the BF, or in an hour in 20...in which case, I'll go back to bed for 30 minutes.
Professional, huh.
Professional, huh.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Ahhh....
Although I'm embarrassed to admit it, I do peruse Yahoo news every morning and check out my horoscope, more through habit than anything else. If I check my forecast at 7:30, chances are I've forgotten it by 8:05, and have done the opposite of every suggestion by 8:30.
Today's:
The work you've been putting in at the gym is starting to pay off, but not everyone has been following your progress as closely as you think -- don't get upset if no one has noticed you lost a pound or gained some muscles. And whatever you do, don't brag about how healthy you are becoming -- especially right in front of a friend of yours who's about to lunge into an ice cream sundae! You have to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone will make the same kinds of choices that you have.
Okay...I'm 20 weeks pregnant, have gained 16 pounds already, and last night had fettuccine Alfredo, Smartfood and chips ahoy for dinner. I don't think that I'm monitoring what anyone else is putting into their mouths, unless I'm contemplating stealing their plates while they're not looking. And the gym? Once a week, squeezed into my non-maternity workout clothes. Can you even build muscle when you're pregnant???
Today's:
The work you've been putting in at the gym is starting to pay off, but not everyone has been following your progress as closely as you think -- don't get upset if no one has noticed you lost a pound or gained some muscles. And whatever you do, don't brag about how healthy you are becoming -- especially right in front of a friend of yours who's about to lunge into an ice cream sundae! You have to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone will make the same kinds of choices that you have.
Okay...I'm 20 weeks pregnant, have gained 16 pounds already, and last night had fettuccine Alfredo, Smartfood and chips ahoy for dinner. I don't think that I'm monitoring what anyone else is putting into their mouths, unless I'm contemplating stealing their plates while they're not looking. And the gym? Once a week, squeezed into my non-maternity workout clothes. Can you even build muscle when you're pregnant???
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
We may boast the best high school in the Northeast, but...
We had some rain. Lots of rain. So much rain, in fact, I could probably host a salmon farm in my basement-and have enough water for them to swim upstream. Thunder, lightning, torrents of water cascading from the sky. I live on the corner, and about an hour ago the Public Works department put up two horses (is that what those wooden barriers are called?) so that cars cannot turn right at the corner. Well, I just peeked out the window, and five cars, well two cars and three of the dreaded mini-vans-turned right into the left lane and continued down the street. And, guess what? Every single freakin' vehicle had to turn back because there is two feet of water flooding the far end of the street. Idiots.
Just got a call on the house phone. (No caller i.d.)
Hello?
Hi.
Hello?
Hi, hi, hello.
(Ok, must be a prank.)
May I help you?
We're a remodeling company.
(Long pause.)
Well, good for you, nice to hear it. (click)
Just got a call on the house phone. (No caller i.d.)
Hello?
Hi.
Hello?
Hi, hi, hello.
(Ok, must be a prank.)
May I help you?
We're a remodeling company.
(Long pause.)
Well, good for you, nice to hear it. (click)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Dang it's raining here
Ahhhh, the son made pancakes, and beast within has been quelled.
Despite the fact that on Monday and Tuesday I was not fit for human consumption, Sunday was a great day. The BF, his oldest, her boyfriend (who was on his best behavior, thank God) and my son headed to Rhode Island for the seafood festival. We never made it after stopping in Mystic for a pee break. Although we didn't "do" the seaport or the aquarium (we've all visited those places at different times), we spent hours wandering the shops and restaurants. Around 7 we headed to the Steak Loft, known for its seafood, as well as steak.
The menu was extensive and looked tasty. In my head, I was totalling the cost of dinner for a pregnant woman and a male teenager while considering that six of the twelve weeks I'll be out of work will be unpaid. With two meals and the clam chowder I was craving, I was looking at 60 bucks-without tip.(And the BF and I aren't living together yet-we both own property, have kids in different towns, etc. so we aren't sharing expenses yet.) The two college kids were looking at each other and whispering worriedly, while the BF had a blank expression on his face (considering, I imagine, the child support he pays, the college tuition he helps out with, and the baby on the way.) Luckily, the college boy looked at the two of us and said, "I have 15 bucks in my pocket," breaking our silent "What the hell are we going to do without looking like assholes spell". We threw some ones on the table for the waitress' time and water service and slink, slank, slunk out the side door.
With a snack of almonds, orange slices and some juice, I was fine, so we went exploring for other restaurants. Around 8:10 (after stopping in a town that was full of bars and had a Tarantino movie feel to it-at one point I mumbled to C, "Someone in the audience is yelling at the screen, "Don't go in there!'") we ended up in Niantic. We drove down poorly lit roads following signs claiming a boardwalk was near by (and hopefully the seafood we were all craving-I had ten ounces with my name on it) when we hit one of the most magical places in the world.
"Book Barn". Yes, there was a barn and as we drove into the dirt parking lot, we could see into the brightly lit rooms up on the left on a little hill. But that wasn't all. Set on at least a half acre with woods as a backdrop, there were huts and small open buildings nestled into trees and bushes. Every single hut was filled with books. There was a collective gasp as our group of nerds took in the sight. We wandered off in our own directions, searching out our favorite genres, soon drunk from the sheer magnitude of our find. I was stumbling haphazardly from stall to stall when suddenly I wondered aloud if they had a copy of A Canticle for Liebowtiz, a book that has been out of print for many years. They had TWO copies, both in great shape, and I bought one for four bucks. The kids had their arms full, and though the BF was fascinated, he hadn't picked anything out.
The cashier (though that word doesn't do her justice- she made a customer mint tea, helped a child find a book, fed the goats and cats, and restocked the cookie jar) asked if she could help the BF.
"Are there any books on movies and cinema?" he inquired.
She responded, "Not here, but if you go downtown, our other bookstore has other genres."
We were stupefied.
"There's more downtown?"
She smiled. "It's not as big, but has many other types of books."
So, of course, off we went.
We didn't get our seafood until after nine-just in time, because the inner grouch that surfaces when a pregnant woman gets hungry was just about to rear its ugly head-and it was worth waiting for.
Despite the fact that on Monday and Tuesday I was not fit for human consumption, Sunday was a great day. The BF, his oldest, her boyfriend (who was on his best behavior, thank God) and my son headed to Rhode Island for the seafood festival. We never made it after stopping in Mystic for a pee break. Although we didn't "do" the seaport or the aquarium (we've all visited those places at different times), we spent hours wandering the shops and restaurants. Around 7 we headed to the Steak Loft, known for its seafood, as well as steak.
The menu was extensive and looked tasty. In my head, I was totalling the cost of dinner for a pregnant woman and a male teenager while considering that six of the twelve weeks I'll be out of work will be unpaid. With two meals and the clam chowder I was craving, I was looking at 60 bucks-without tip.(And the BF and I aren't living together yet-we both own property, have kids in different towns, etc. so we aren't sharing expenses yet.) The two college kids were looking at each other and whispering worriedly, while the BF had a blank expression on his face (considering, I imagine, the child support he pays, the college tuition he helps out with, and the baby on the way.) Luckily, the college boy looked at the two of us and said, "I have 15 bucks in my pocket," breaking our silent "What the hell are we going to do without looking like assholes spell". We threw some ones on the table for the waitress' time and water service and slink, slank, slunk out the side door.
With a snack of almonds, orange slices and some juice, I was fine, so we went exploring for other restaurants. Around 8:10 (after stopping in a town that was full of bars and had a Tarantino movie feel to it-at one point I mumbled to C, "Someone in the audience is yelling at the screen, "Don't go in there!'") we ended up in Niantic. We drove down poorly lit roads following signs claiming a boardwalk was near by (and hopefully the seafood we were all craving-I had ten ounces with my name on it) when we hit one of the most magical places in the world.
"Book Barn". Yes, there was a barn and as we drove into the dirt parking lot, we could see into the brightly lit rooms up on the left on a little hill. But that wasn't all. Set on at least a half acre with woods as a backdrop, there were huts and small open buildings nestled into trees and bushes. Every single hut was filled with books. There was a collective gasp as our group of nerds took in the sight. We wandered off in our own directions, searching out our favorite genres, soon drunk from the sheer magnitude of our find. I was stumbling haphazardly from stall to stall when suddenly I wondered aloud if they had a copy of A Canticle for Liebowtiz, a book that has been out of print for many years. They had TWO copies, both in great shape, and I bought one for four bucks. The kids had their arms full, and though the BF was fascinated, he hadn't picked anything out.
The cashier (though that word doesn't do her justice- she made a customer mint tea, helped a child find a book, fed the goats and cats, and restocked the cookie jar) asked if she could help the BF.
"Are there any books on movies and cinema?" he inquired.
She responded, "Not here, but if you go downtown, our other bookstore has other genres."
We were stupefied.
"There's more downtown?"
She smiled. "It's not as big, but has many other types of books."
So, of course, off we went.
We didn't get our seafood until after nine-just in time, because the inner grouch that surfaces when a pregnant woman gets hungry was just about to rear its ugly head-and it was worth waiting for.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Horror-scope
Is a parent or coach just not giving you the tough love you're looking for? Wish your boss would give you more positive reinforcement instead of negative? Looking for a little bit more affection from your sweetie? If you want your needs to be met by others, you need to do them a favor -- let them know what it is you need! No matter how much they want to be what you need them to be, people cannot read your mind. You've got the diplomatic skills to say what you want without sounding demanding.
So, then, should I forward yesterday's rant to the people mentioned?
So, then, should I forward yesterday's rant to the people mentioned?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tired vent
Please, for Christ's sake, leave me the fuck alone today. No, Bf, I do NOT want to have sex for the seventh time this week the morning after we spent 12 hours walking around in Mystic/Niantic/New London-get that unwashed thing out of my fucking face!* Sister, shut the hell up! Do NOT call me three times a day to discuss your baby's poop! Yes, she is beautiful, and I absolutely adore her, but I am tired of hearing abut the minutiae of your day every single freaking day! I do NOT need five minute updates! Mom and partner are spared because they are away on vacation-thank god. Son, I love you, I think you're the best, but we didn't raise you to brag. Do NOT bring up your grades to people outside the family! How about asking other people some questions once in a while? Brother with the evil wife-I left a message four days ago saying how cool it will be that we will have sons 3 months apart. Could you fucking call me and acknowledge it? Why should I expect anything else, though-it took 6 weeks before your c*nt of a wife acknowledged my pregnancy. Little brother-yeah, your roommates in CA moved out on you? Gee, maybe you should have paid your share of the rent, you pot smoking freeloader. Who the fuck gets laid off from the porn industry? I hope dad tells you no-not to protect him, but so that he doesn't call ME to complain that you've moved back in and are mooching off of him. Oh, friend K? The reason I backed out of the weekend at the Cape? Not because I didn't want to drive there myself because you guys were going for the whole week. No, it's because YOU NEED TO FUCKING PARENT YOUR SON AND STOP ABUSING PRESCRIPTION MEDS!!! No, the husband of our friend is NOT picking on him! You should 1. Pay attention to him and 2. If he does do something, give him a freaking consequence! Stop with the fucking video games and bribing him with a fucking iPod!!! BTW, a kid going into second grade should NOT be sleeping in your bed, no matter what he's been through. You've had him for almost 4 years-if he's so troubled, put him in counselling-our insurance covers the whole damn thing! And I am SO sickof playing nice nice to one of the offspring and a boyfriend. GROW THE FUCK UP! Last, but not least...you dog. During the day, you are cute and fun, but I swear to fucking god, you wake me up ONE more time at night and it is the barbecue spit for you.
*To be fair, he's a clean guy, and I was not-so-fresh myself.-we had completely crashed into bed after a very long day.
*To be fair, he's a clean guy, and I was not-so-fresh myself.-we had completely crashed into bed after a very long day.
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