Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Horror-scope

Is a parent or coach just not giving you the tough love you're looking for? Wish your boss would give you more positive reinforcement instead of negative? Looking for a little bit more affection from your sweetie? If you want your needs to be met by others, you need to do them a favor -- let them know what it is you need! No matter how much they want to be what you need them to be, people cannot read your mind. You've got the diplomatic skills to say what you want without sounding demanding.

So, then, should I forward yesterday's rant to the people mentioned?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

To see if you qualify for a career in diplomacy, take this easy test, right now, in the privacy of your own home. Listen closely. You are having dinner with some foreign dignitaries and someone says something anti-American. You:

(A) Shoot him and create an international incident.

(B) Pretend you did not hear it and ask him to pass the sweet and sour shrimp.

You'd be surprised how many people say "A" -- but if you said "B," then you have the ability to make quick decisions on your feet. When you enroll at Ambassador Training Institute, you'll learn how to accept gifts graciously, how to propose toasts. You'll use phrases like: "Delighted to see you again!" "I'll ask the Secretary of State." and "Pass the sweet and sour shrimp."

SNL (1975)

--T

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Have they expanded the classes to include, "What to do when your sister-in-law wants to do background checks on new members of the family?" or what to say when she tells your sister she shouldn't have gotten pregnant at the time that she did because the birthday is too close to her daughter's? We're wondering...with lodaded guns.

Anonymous said...

"We'll just have to ask back at DC and letcha know, soonest.." (big smile, fake "gun shoot" gesture while backing away).


--Charge d'Affaires Suddington, who *never* singed on for this shit.