Oh my GOD, the AGONY! An obsessive compulsive bather with a brand new tub/tile/window/ceiling panel installation, and I can't use it until 7:30 tonight. Why not just dangle a margarita and raw white tuna from the shower head to take me completely over the edge?
I did shower at the new, smaller gym owned by my trainer pals. 'Twas only I and one of the trainers when I ducked into the locker room, and I was suddenly struck by the thought of our naked, soapy bodies slipping against each other in a cramped, steamy stall, groping each other, my legs wrapped around his waist...but that fantasy was completely ruined by my practical side, which interrupted to scold, "You can't let your body get above 102* for any length of time." F*cker.
I would have thought I was hallucinating if someone else hadn't seen it too: a black squirrel with a grey/blond tail. It was all alone, shunned by both squirrel communities.
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4 comments:
Ladee,
chu stay away from dat blondie tail frijole bastid. Dem Viking squirrels mang, Visgoths trippin' on some kinda peyote type shit. Dey fuck you up. Even *we* scared of da Yellow Tail. Manny been down under dat old Trans Am in de alley for like two weeks.
--KS-13
Shhhh! Mannnnn...now I gots to find a nother spot. Ladee, you let us in da garage, si?, we clean up the yard, OK?
--Manny
ooops...uh, Manny asked me to pass that along. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Me und mah boys are sweeping acrossa the West. Me and Alaric the Visigoth, Galseric the Vandal and Theodoric the Ostrogoth. Plus a ferret named Thor.
--Attila the Merciless Squirrel
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