Dear Squirrels,
We regret to inform you that one of your own was recently gruesomely murdered in front of our house. Out of respect and in appreciation of your ongoing offers to rid us of rats, we sprayed the corpse with the sprinkler to shoo away the flies, and chased away the neighborhood boys who were poking it with a stick. We are so sorry for your loss.
In Sympathy,
KS and company
On a personal note, songs that I never thought would make me tear up: Rehab by Amy Winehouse, and I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt. And I'm not even premenstrual.
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7 comments:
Yea, wee seen dat ladee and maybe, chu know, you pour some peanuts outta a can and say "Mourn ya 'till I join ya." Cashews is nice to, yea?
--MSquirrel 13
Mebee when you do dis you can wear something low cut, eh, chu know, outta repsects for Arturo?
--Manny
Shut da fukup Manny man, or I cut you, I swear I cut you.
--MS
It's prolly too late, but down the holler we figurred out that squirrel meat tastes awful good stewed in that there Ragu sauce and put over spaghetties.
--Clem Barlow, just down the road a piece
Oh. no. you. ditin't.
Oh...You a fuckin' ghost walkin' redneck. We knows exactly where the brake lines on yore F-150 be at homes.
--MS
Kindly refrain from any reference, intentional or otherwise to the plot, characters, dialogue or scene a faire from "Next of Kin." Or Lorimar Pictures, and its agents and assigns, will take all available recourse, legal or otherwise.
-- A. Coddington Boule, Esq.
Yo, Coddsy:
Go read Bucklew v. Hawkins, Ash, Baptie & Co., douche nozzle. Plus how do you serve a complaint on a squirrel?
--Taupey, stickin' it to the man.
Douche nozzle??? Love it!
Yeah, I got yer douche nozzle, right here for ya, baby.
;)
--T, j/k
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