All the things I'm wigging out about:
Being in a relationship, that I'm a crappy girlfriend, I get annoyed if he calls more than once when I'm pre-menstrual, then get sad if he calls only once if I'm premenstrual, that my son is such a good kid to compensate for some of the carzy stuff we've been through, that I want more children but I am really emotionally unavailable some of the time (my kid has to ask me for a hug), that I get tense when Mr. C says, "I miss you"-I can feel my whole body tighten up, I have to see my sister-in-law tomorrow-she wants to do background checks on anyone who is introduced to her kid, so in order for Mr. C to spend anytime with my family when that niece is around he would have to be vetted-it's small comfort that he's not being singled out-how the hell am I going to be able to make small talk with her, I want to marry this man but then freak out at the thought of actually sharing a place with another human full time-even my son isn't here all of the time, he sleep at his dad's two weekends a month, that maybe I am a lesbian, my house isn't as clean as I want it to be, I go back to work on Monday with little planned for the week, that I can't talk to my mom about much other than the superficial, my dad seems hurt that I haven't seen him in a while but I just can't deal with him right now, I weigh 150 pounds-sure, I am pretty freaking muscular for a woman, but I am still 8-10 pounds over my goal weight and I'm pissed at myself for not being more focused on nutrition...
...shit, I know, I should go read the news and find out about people with real problems.
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